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My Testimony| | I was preparing this morning to share my testimony with an elder at church for consideration for membership. The time of sharing will not be elaborate, but it helps me to write things out before I go and relate them verbally. In so doing, I thought I would paste what I had written of my testimony on this entry, for anyone interested in reading.  Enjoy.
Often times I think that I have a so-called “boring” testimony of many church-goers. I grew up in a Christian home. I have always gone to church. I was saved at a young age. Since then I have learned to read my Bible more and pray more and grow closer to the Lord and further in righteousness. It almost seems like a formula, and for some time now I have believed that such a testimony could have little impact upon outsiders whose lives are so much different than mine. I reserved the “sharing-of-testimony” time for the converted drug addicts and prostitutes and formerly legalistic Roman Catholics. However, I read a portion of a book recently in which the author recounted an incident in which an outsider actually did relate more to the typical “formulated” testimony than to one that was radical. Thus, it encouraged me to know that the Lord’s working in my own life is unique and purposeful and can be a tool used to further share the gospel with others as well as I relate my own story. Granted, I have not discovered anyone radically inclined by my own story yet, but it does not mean that no one ever will be.
I did grow up in a Christian home. Both of my parents were Christians, and for as long as I can remember I attended church, throughout the various towns that I have lived in during my life. I attended Loyalton Baptist Church in Loyalton, Glenburn Community Church in Fall River and since moving to Woodland, Woodland Bible Church and now First Baptist Church. My youngest memories, though, do not include having a personal relationship with Christ. Rather, they include learning how to meticulously color in the lines during Sunday School, how to manipulate circumstances selfishly to get my own way, and how to whine profusely and pout when things did not. It was not until moving to Fall River that I came to see that there was more to this Christian life than I was experiencing.
To be honest, there is not a lot that I can recall from my actual conversion experience. I could make up and fill in the details, but then this would not be complete honesty. I think I remember my older brother, Josh, coming to know the Lord just shortly after our family’s move to Fall River Mills, right before I entered the 2nd grade. I vaguely recall noticing the change in my brother and being excited for the difference and wanting that myself. What I do remember though is the day in which I received Christ as Lord myself. The summer before 3rd grade I attended two different Vacation Bible Schools put on by local churches in the area—the town was extremely small, so it was no uncommon to be in closer fellowship with other believers from other churches in the town. In both, a gospel message was clearly presented. I remember some friends accepting Christ during the first, but I was not yet ready to make that decision. During the second, I listened intently as the gospel was presented again. I was scared. I did not want to face eternal condemnation for all my sins, and I wanted to go to heaven, to walk the golden roads and to have a mansion prepared for me. And I wanted to be with my Father in heaven for eternity. Again, I don’t remember with whom or at what point, but I talked with someone afterward, probably a teen leader, who once again explained the gospel message to me and led me through a “sinner’s prayer.” I felt forgiven, my wrongdoings covered by Christ, new life within me because of His death and resurrection, and I knew that I was assured of heaven.
Shortly after my conversion, I was baptized in my church, Glenburn Community Church, along with my twin brother, who had also become a believer, and my dad, who had never been baptized before. That was a special and joyful day. Then I remember buying a Precious Moments Bible, one that now is long tattered and falling apart in many sections (I kept it until I was in 5th grade, I think), listening to the Christian music my brother listened to, and trying to obey the Lord. I even tried, some days, to go without sinning once all day, or to obey my conscience, the Holy Spirit, all day, but found that in my own humanness, this was impossible, and that, even when I failed, or still do, Christ’s grace covers me.
Since then, much has happened in my life. A few years after moving to Fall River, our family moved again, to Woodland, CA. I did not want to move there, not by a long shot, but I can see now how the Lord had his faithful hand in the move. Even in just small things, like being able to be involved in WBC and FBC, like meeting my friends and having the experiences and challenges I did in high school, and in hearing about the Master’s College through a Woodland friend and then deciding to go there, the Lord has had his hand in my life and impacted me in a way I probably would never would have been impacted if I we had moved elsewhere. At a young age, I made some Christian friends, and continued to find them along the way. In junior high and into high school I became much involved with the youth group and looked forward each week to the spiritual refreshment in the middle of the week, even if I was busy with homework.
Certainly, my life has not been without its challenges, and it would take far too much time to elaborate on each and every trial the Lord has brought into my life since then, but I can attest to the Lord’s faithfulness to grow us and mold us more into His image, especially as we are refined by such trials. It has been neat to see the Lords faithfulness through and through despite every single bit of my sinfulness and selfishness, how his grace persists, and how when he should have given up on me long ago. He has not turned away, but on the contrary, drawn me closer to him, and grown me. I have experienced a number of trials, and realize I will likely face many more as they are a means to refinement. I have always trusted the Lord for strength and joy during more difficult times, but even more recently, I have really come to appreciate, actually appreciate trials for their refinement, and sometimes even actually desire them for growth. The Lord has been faithful to strip away idols from me, pride, things I feel my identity rested upon, to show me that HE alone is sufficient, and that I am to serve no other idols besides the Lord. And each day I discover more and more what a wretched sinner I am, but how much his grace covers it all. His mercies show bright each day and allow me to get up each morning and begin each day afresh. They allow me to be a little more like Christ each and every day. And they allow me, when I fall (and I do so often!) to get back up on my feet, and as Micah says, return to the light, my sins having been cast into the depths of the sea. I have absolutely no idea how I would live life today without Christ, and I cannot fathom those who have such empty lives themselves. Even on my most selfish of days, Christ still remains my one wonderful source of strength and joy and peace and confidence, the one whom I lean on and rest. The bliss of heaven once meant for me golden roads and a big mansion and assurance that I would not go to hell. It now means to me a wondrous and eternal relationship with my father in which I will ever grow in understand of and in love with Him, one in which I will finally, FINALLY, be sin-free, one in which I will realize that what I experience tangibly of Him now on earth is only a mere glimmer and taste of the splendor I am to experience of Him for eternity. He is worthy of all glory and worship, and I will worship Him forever.
| | | Posted 7/1/2007 7:39 AM - 47 Views - 4 eProps - 2 comments
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